There is one big character defect of mine that I have to work on quite often.
It's when it should be all about me and it's not.
I have worked at my company for five years this week.
One of the things we do for five year anniversarys is to order lunch to celebrate.
I usually place the order, but get whatever the person wants to eat.
This time it's my celebration, so it should be all about me. What do *I* want to eat.
I chose BBQ. I like it because I can get it 'sauce on the side' and get a salad with it.
The meat comes with two sides and muffins. I chose corn and slaw as my sides as I decided corn would be a nice change and I like their slaw. I don't know if I'll eat either of these sides since I ordered a salad, but those were the sides I chose.
I was talking to some fellow employees and they asked me if we were getting beans with the BBQ. I said no, corn and slaw. They told me to cancel the slaw and get baked beans.
So this is where my hackles shoot up. It really gets my goat when it's my celebration, and therefore whatever I decide should be fine and accepted.
But instead they (whoever "they" are) don't like my choice and they tell me to change it.
So what is my response? I'm hurt and angry.
I did mention I don't even know if I'm going to EAT the side items right?!
Would a normal eater be so "offended"? I don't know? I am not a normal eater.
Can I think of an example of a situation where I've felt this way that does NOT involve food? Hmmm...actually no, I cannot.
So what did I do...
First, I took 3 minutes by myself to stew about the situation. To be frustrated and furrow my brow and to be filled with general crabbiness.
Next, I thought about the true situation, leaving my feelings out of it, and just thinking about the facts.
I care about the ribs. I want ribs. I am going to eat the ribs, and I don't want them sauced. That part of the order matters and I want it the way I ordered it.
But the sides? To me they are just that, sides, and I'm not sure if I'll even eat them.
I'm not a big fan of beans or slaw...sometimes they're good, sometimes they're not. So really, I don't care either way.
So...does it matter if the masses want beans instead of the slaw? Does it matter to me???
No, I can honestly answer that No, it does not matter to me.
So do I want to give energy to be angry that I didn't get "my way" about something that I don't even care about?
Again, I can honestly answer No.
So, I changed the order from slaw to beans.
And I'm not angry about it.
Honestly and truly, I'm not.