Thursday, May 31, 2012

Pain to relieve pain??

I have a lot of physical issues.  However, at this stage, I do NOT let it stop me, so please don't think this is a post of me just whining...

This month I'm dealing with a pain in my foot I've had for four months.  It's in the arch and it's causing me to have leg cramps first thing in the morning.  Horrible.  So I went in and got some meds.  While I was there I told the Dr that my hip pain was coming back (I've had hip pain for 20yrs and get a cortisone shot to keep it at bay) but I wasn't ready for a shot yet, then joked I'd probably be back in a week for a shot.
Stupid me.

I called exactly one week later and needed the shot...badly.
A cortisone shot in the hip is a very painful thing.  VERY VERY painful.  There is usually screaming or sobbing or swearing, or all three during the shot - I just cannot help it.  BUT, as soon as the shot is done, there is usually relief.  So I'll gladly take a short amount of pain to relieve longer term pain.

My question to God (if I were to have the opportunity to ask) is was I made with some "errors" to give me character, or are all these hip/back/pelvic/food/etc etc etc pains from being 320lbs?  Or, is it just a lovely combination of both (yuck).

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Drama-free bubbles!

My old self - prior to working my OA program - would be GIDDY right now. 

My work is FULL of drama right now. 
I am part of a three person team.  I am the lowest rung.  And the two other people on my team are fighting.  They are only communicating through email.  They walk by and ignore each other.  They just are acting very childish!

And both of them are trying to drag me into the fight "on their side".   They come into my office and talk about the other one.  They ask me to "pass on" information.  They tell me it's my "job requirement" to share info. 

But I have built a drama-free bubble around me.  I ask them not to discuss the issue with me.  I tell them I am uncomfortable with the conversation.  I tell them to go talk to the other person because I do NOT want to be involved.

THAT is me working my program.  That is my new self doing what needs to be done to keep myself serene, happy, and actually sleeping through the night.  I am exhausted at night as my drama-free bubble takes a lot of energy to hold up, but have no regrets as I am not gossiping, I am not "creating" drama, and I am not involved in their dispute.

Do you stay out of the drama, or do you come with a big spoon and stir it up?