Friday, August 5, 2011

I'm hungry.

How many times have I said I'm hungry and not actually been hungry?

Here are just some of the things I really meant when I said "I'm hungry".

I'm tired
I'm lonely
I'm bored
I'm happy
I'm sad
I want attention
I want you to like me
I want you to leave me alone

And those are just a small sampling.  I can't explain why I'm hungry flies out of my mouth, instead of these other words.  I'm not sure why I thought getting and eating food would solve or cure these other things I needed.   What I do know is that it didn't MATTER what else I needed, I could always use food to cover up my other needs or wants or feelings or thoughts. 

It's easier to say I'm hungry and then eat instead of having to face rejection by stating something I really need or am feeling.
And there is a lot less fear involve when I tell someone I'm hungry instead of you are not good for me and I need to leave.

So many reasons to say I'm hungry when I actually wasn't hungry.

However, things have changed for me.  Now I only say I'm hungry when my stomach is actually growling. 
Wait...that's not 100% true.  I do sometimes say it other times, but thanks to learning so much from OA, I quickly follow up the untrue I'm hungry by no wait, I'm tired or I'm lonely or I'm bored or I'm upset.

I am FAR from "fixed" in this area, but I'm much improved and working on it one day at a time!

By the way, my stomach is growling quite loudly right now and I'm hungry!

8/5/11   221.5

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