Bumps, lumps, and bulges

Do you ever walk down the street looking at other people and think,
HUNEY, DID YOU LOOK IN A MIRROR BEFORE YOU LEFT THE HOUSE??

I am shocked at how some people wear their clothes. 
So tight, so form fitting, and so many lumps and bumps bulging out, and they don't appear to be self conscious?

Part of me is horrified.  
It's like a train wreck.  So incredibly horrible, but I cannot stop looking.

But part of me is jealous. 

These people, many much much larger than myself, must be in a much different place than myself.  A place where, even though they don't have Cosmo's "perfect body", they are proud of what they have and want to show it off! 

That's amazing to me.

I am constantly trying to hide my bumps, lumps, and bulges.  Constantly.
I never waste an opportunity to look in mirrors or glass windows to see if things are hidden behind my clothes.  And if they're not, I suck it in. 

I wish I had their confidence.  I wish I could just see my body for what it is and have comfort with it.

Maybe someday.

8-11-11   199.5