Monday, July 25, 2011

Second post - why am I hear part 2

So I thought I should give more of my background.

I ate my way to 320lbs. 
I would order large meat lovers pizza and eat the entire thing, then be sad that it was gone.
I would go out at 10:30 and get a Qtr Pounder with cheese meal from McDonalds and supersize it.  Then I would have the lunch I packed at 12.  Then at 2:30 when I went home, I would go to McDonalds and get a two cheeseburger meal and supersize it. I would stop before getting home and hide the wrappers at the gas station (I always wondered if they placed bets on what time I would arrive, since I stopped at the garbage everyday, and rarely actually got gas or went inside).
I would then make supper which was on the table by 5.
At 7 or 8 we would have our evening snack of popcorn or ice cream...or both.

I am not one who can say, "I don't know how this happened".  I know exactly how this happened. 
I ate my way to 320lbs. 

Someone mentioned to me that they noticed I ate every 2 hours.  I was offended that they noticed and horrified that my secret was out!

I searched online and found Overeaters Anonymous.   I went for awhile but just didn't make an effort.  These people didn't have the answer.  They were crazy.  I couldn't BELIEVE the things they'd done.  *I* was not like that (please see eating description above to note my insanity).
So I stopped wasting my time and stopped attending meetings.

I was sitting in my living room one night, lonely, bored, and eating through my feelings, when I saw an infomercial online about the Protein Power Plan.  They told me I could eat steak and butter and lose weight!  I was GIDDY!! 
I ordered it right away and the moment I got the book I started the plan.

That was May of 1998.  At the same time I vowed never to eat a french fry again. 
I loved them.  I loved them more than anything.  I loved them more than my family, my pets, and definitely more than me.  They made me miserable, but I could not stop eating them, and I was always sad when they were gone.  I didn't have a grasp of what I was doing at the time, but I was defining my abstinence.  Putting parameters around "foods that make me crazy".  And my parameters were all or nothing.  I'd done the "all"...over and over and over again.  Now I needed to do the "nothing".

So in May of 1998 it all started.  Protein Power (low carb dieting), and following the plan of Overeaters Anonymous (defining my abstinence).

Everything was fantastic.  I was dropping weight faster than I had ever heard of (this is long before Biggest Loser and Weight Loss Makeover).  I lost 75lbs in just under four months.  I only ate meals listed on their "suggested menu" and nothing more.  I weighed and measured everything.  I stuck to the plan like my life was at stake. 

About that time, I was contacted by Protein Power and asked if I would be in their commercials.  ABSOLUTELY!
I had to have some professional "after" pictures taken and then they called me and did a phone interview.   A blind friend of mine called me one day and told me she heard my voice on an ad and she was absolutely sure it was me as she knows my voice...and she was on the other side of the US!  My sister called me and said she saw my picture on TV, and she is in another state!  It was so exciting!!

Then after four months I got tired of the same meals so I started creating my own.  I followed the recommended carb counts, but stopped weighing and measuring my proteins.  It took me six months to lose the other 35lbs, but I still lost weight. 

In February of 1999 I had my first of multiple car accidents.  I was a passenger in a rollover.  I was not injured enough to be hospitalized, but I was far from "okay".  My neck and back were so sore.  I was seeing a chiropractor three times a week.  After a few months, damage was noted in my jaw and for six months I went to a jaw specialist.   In August I was hit, a t-bone, and my car was totaled.  In January I was rear ended, and in June I was rear ended again.  I'm not a bad driver.  I was stopped at a stoplight for the two rear ends, and the guy missed a stop sign for the t-bone.  All I can say is that it all sucked.  And I hurt.  All.The.Time.
And because of that pain, I started slipping.  I decided that eating more carbs would help me feel better.  Still no french fries, but I started having a snack in the afternoon of four saltines with cheese melted on them.  Then I would have six.  Then eight.  Then I would have two plates of eight.  And because I had permission to eat that, I had permission to eat all kinds of carbs!

And that is where I stalled.  I had gotten down to 195, but was back up to 207 before I even blinked an eye.  But I got a grasp and started adding more foods to my "do not eat" list.  I added potato chips, chocolate, and snack crackers. 
I started having issues with my partner, and that gave me permission to eat even more.  I got up to 240.  OUCH.

When I finally kicked my own ass and got out of the terrible relationship, I was able to watch my carbs enough to get me down to 207.  And that is where I've stayed for many years.

  • French Fries
  • Potato chips
  • snack crackers (mainly Nabisco type crackers)
  • pizza
  • chocolate
  • chex mix
  • ice cream
  • cookies
  • bread
  • And I do not eat in my car...ever.

So, with OA I have found a way to fix my brain and stop eating the foods that make me crazy, and with Protein Power, I have found out how much of other foods to eat.

The two have kept me sane. weight is up 20lbs.  I thought I'd try eating some carbs that don't make me crazy...see how it works.  Things like rice and noodles. 
But guess experiment failed...and here I am 20lbs heavier.  229.  Yuck.

I am unable to speak freely of OA on Protein Power, and I'm unable to speak freely of Protein Power in OA, so I needed a place where I could discuss both.  And that is what brought me here.

I hope to find some followers who will help give me guidance and help me be accountable.   Accountable to whatever plan I decide to follow. 

Thanks for listening.


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