Thursday, March 22, 2012

Giving up or facing the truth

Last summer I had gained 20lbs and none of my summer shirts fit.  My weight is still up there.
I bought 3 shirts and wore them (and a few older items I could stretch out) all summer long.

I. Was. Miserable.

I was not willing to face the fact that I had gained weight and I was feeling financial poor, so I suffered all summer and refused to buy clothes.

Well ta'heck with that!

I went shopping last night.  I got a pair of capri's, a pair of jeans, and 10 shirts!!!  TEN!!   And I'm ordering another 6 tonight!

I'm a big-boned person and even at my thinnest, I still barely fit into an XL because I have massive shoulders.  So, of course, now I do not fit into them at all! 
So I had to shop plus sizes..which is why I refused to buy last year.

But it was so freeing!!  And by that I mean it felt good to have things fit (or be too big).  To feel like I have clothes to wear again.  To feel like I'm not a great big blob of a human being and that all my clothes just accentuate that blubbery fact.
And yes, I did have all those feelings almost every day last year.

So, here it is.  I wear a 1X.  I look good in a 1X. It fits my shoulders and you cannot see all my back bra lines and "bumps" surrounding them (I hate that on me-ick). 

This weekend I'm cleaning out my closets and drawers.  I'm going to pack away all the clothes that do not fit me...and if by NEXT summer they still do not fit, I will not even open the containers, I will just give them away. 
I am done torturing myself with a closet full of clothes that don't fit (or I'm even afraid to try on).  It is not worth it...but I am!

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