Still Sick

Just wanted to give a really quick check in to let you know I haven't been blogging because I'm STILL sick!
Whatever bug I caught has put down roots and set up (what seems like) permanent residence in my system.

But my food and eating are on track and I have lost 2 more pounds, so I'm at 29lbs down!  Woot!  I have been forcing myself to eat at least 1200 calories a day which has been difficult some days since NOTHING tastes good.  Most items remind me of rotten milk - blech!

I'll be back soon (hopefully) to write more.

In the meantime, stay healthy!!!

Food addiction and illness

I went to bed at 7:30 on Sunday and woke Monday with a fever of 100.  I don't exactly know what is wrong with me (I'm coughing but nothing major) but I cannot seem to shake this fever.

Here is the problem.  My history is that I EAT when I'm sick.  There is no 'starve a cold, feed a fever' or vise versa.    It's feed a cold, feed a fever, feed a bruise, feed a bump, feed a cut, feed a sniffle, etc.

When I wanted a good binge I use to call into work "sick" so I could eat all day.  Or if I was actually sick I would still be able to put on clothes enough to run to the store to buy soup plus a million other things I didn't need like boxes of crackers and pounds of butter.  Because when you eat a healthy can of soup, you need ROWS of saltines covered in butter to go with it, right???!!!

Wow.

But this time I'm on plan.  So...is it different?

I made my food plan right away on Monday morning.  And I was able to stick to it!  And that is really saying something because I was hungry ALL DAY LONG!!  Actual stomach growling hunger!  I did add a second helping of sunflower seeds but not before checking my numbers to make sure it didn't put me over the edge (and it did not) but otherwise I only ate what was planned.

WAHOO!!

Now today I'm at work.  I still have a fever but with Tylenol it's below 100.  However I'm still fighting hunger.  But it doesn't matter because I have a plan and I'm going to stick to it! 

There is no amount of WANTING to eat that is going to destroy my abstinence for today.  My desire to maintain my abstinence and therefore keep my peace and serenity is so much stronger.  With my Higher Power's help I can DO this.

Drop it like it's hawt!

My stall is over!!
I have final broken below the 220s with my weight! 

I. Am. Giddy.

I haven't weighed this amount in many years.  Maybe 5?   Five years of whining about my increase in weight.  Five years about my fear of my body ballooning all the way back up to my highest weight (320).  Five years of eating and eating and eating.

I know I have to keep on keeping on in order for the weight to continue to fall, but I don't feel fatalistic about the idea of keeping on?!  Being accountable to another person about the food/caloric drinks that go into my mouth has been a life saving event.  I know it sounds hard and it sounds scary, and maybe it was at first.  But I am reaping the rewards which makes all the hard and scary that "my will" keeps carrying on about seem silly and exhausting.

To think that the simple act of planning my meals, and sending the plans to another person has helped me lose 27 pounds???  That's amazing.  Absolutely amazing.

Thanks God for Overeater Anonymous, the program that introduced me to methods I didn't want to try but that actually work.

Bit of a set back

I was doing so well, then the scale betrayed me!!
It jumped up THREE pounds!!
THREE??? 

And then it had the gall to STAY up three pounds!  How rude!

But it did get me thinking about my food, my life, my eating and here is what I decided.

1.  I cannot eat a "low carb" tortilla or pita or flat-out for multiple days in a row.  My body just doesn't work well with them.  I can have them, just not once a day every day for over a week.
2.  Traveling causes my weight to fluctuate.   My father-in-law passed away so we were away from home for four days.  I had enough control over my food, but just traveling in a car, being sedentary, all the stuff that usually accompanies me when traveling usually causes the scale to go up.
3.  I must eat more vegetables.  I get lazy, especially in winter when very few veggies are "fresh".  I am not a fan of salads unless they are smothered in meat and cheese and BACON!  So eating a salad everyday isn't a good vegetable for me.  I need to ramp it up and get back to eating some greens, steamed broccoli and green beans, and stir-fry's full of zucchini and Bok Choy.  Anything to up my veggie intake.
4.  I need to get back to exercising regularly. I don't have to work out for 4 hours a night, but a 30-45 minute walk with the dog, or an hour at the gym moving around on the machines, or taking an aerobics class at the gym will keep my metabolism humming.  Move it or lose it right?

The scale has finally dropped back down 2 pounds, but I'm not yet back at the weight I was two weeks ago and that is weighing on me (pun intended).  

However I'm NOT going to freak out. 
I'm NOT going to start exercising like a fiend and killing my body beyond what it can take.
I'm NOT going to starve myself.  

I'm just going to keep on keeping on and remind myself that, yes I need to pay attention to my food and weight and do the work I know I need to do to lose weight, but that ultimately God decides when I will lose weight.

For today, I will do the work that I need to do to be healthy and give the rest to God.

Still here, still chugging along

Hey everyone, just wanted to check in and say I'm still working my program and following my food plan!

I just got back from my partners mothers house (MIL).  Her boyfriend of 18 years passed away so we went for a long weekend to attend the funeral.

MIL is admittedly addicted to sugar.  Everything she makes has brown or white sugar in it.  EVERYTHING.  I even found out she adds sugar to her deviled eggs!
So I brought some of my own food, cooked some myself, and some meals we ate out.  There was only one meal I ate that she cooked and I didn't like it so I only ate a little (flavored chicken brats cooked in beer, brown sugar, and onions-blech) then instead ate some leftover hamburger I had cooked.

My point is that I cannot, nay WILL not, be afraid to speak up for what I need. I cannot be afraid to find my own food if something is not right.  And I cannot take on others peoples feelings if they seem offended.  MIL knows all about my eating/food plan, so if she chooses to be offended, that is on her.  I, of course, am nice about it and to her, but following my food plan give me sanity and I am better equipped to handle her and the entire visit if I stick to it.
Hope you're able to stick to your plan today!!

Back....again

Wow, it's so hard to believe I haven't posted since April of 2013?! 
Guess I wanted to eat more than I wanted to blog INSTEAD OF EATING.

However I had a epiphany in November.  Something finally clicked for me.
After 16 years of fighting it, I finally have a food sponsor. 

Wow, sounds great right??  But what the heck does that mean?

It means I am accountable to another person for everything I eat. 
Every evening (or the next morning, depending on my schedule) I go to Myfitnesspal.com and report what I plan to eat that day, along with making any corrections to the previous day's food.
Then I can create a .pdf of the two days and I send it to my food sponsor.

It has been amazing.  I have lost 13lbs since 11/20.  That's right.  I lost weight over the holidays.
Unbelievable, but true!

I commit to blogging more each week and to telling you more about my life, all the ups and all the downs.

Is anyone still out there??

Routine

I started back to low carb eating on April 1st, today is April 26th and I'm down 17.5lbs.
Wahoo!!!

I was trying to figure out why it's working this time when I've tried to get back to low carb eating so darn many times.  And I think it's all based on having a set routine.

Routine is what keeps me on track on a daily basis, but even amidst chaos.  Just keep on doing what I was doing no matter the shit-storm going on around me.  Yes, routine.

My basic routine:

• I plan my meals on Sunday, then head to the grocery store. 
• While there I ONLY buy the foods I need, because if I get extra, I'll feel the need to eat it "before it goes rotten".  So yes, I'm there buying 2 oranges, a 1/3 bag of grapes, and 3 vine on tomatoes (not four because I don't need four). 
• Then I go home and start my food prep.  I've stopped cooking for the entire week because by the end of the week the food just wasn't as fresh, so I cook for half the week, .
• Last Sunday I cooked all my sausages but only 2 days of scrambled eggs.  Then on Wednesday I cooked two more servings (I went out for breakfast one day this week).
• For lunches I had cucumbers, olives, and either grilled chicken or turkey/cheese/salami roll ups.  Bought all the cucumbers and olives and put them in my work fridge.  Mon and Tues I ate the grilled chicken then on Tuesday night I stopped and got the deli meat for the rollups. 
• For suppers we had plans Monday and Tuesday, so on Wednesday I made a pork roast.  That roast will last me probably 6 meals, so I may end up throwing some out, but this weekend I'll chop some into an omelet then also have it for supper.  Next time I cut it in half and only cook half at a time.
• I go to work by 7am so I have time to go to the gym before going home. It's hard to sit in the gym and watch all the people out the windows leaving their offices to go home for the day. So I go early and therefore I'm leaving the gym when everyone else is finally heading home for the day. 
• And finally, I have a routine of stepping on the scale everyday. I am grateful I don't base my reaction to the day on the scale number, but I want to know if I'm on track. Recently the scale jumped up 3lbs, but I just kept following my routine and voila it fell back off and then some!

My point is that I plan, I prepare, then I just stick to my routine.  It gives me purpose when I don't know what else to do.  It keeps me on track when I'm wanting to veer.  It gives me peace when surrounded by chaos. 

For today, make a routine that is maintainable and stick to it! 
You can DO this!