I've been back on the low carb track for 17 days now, and I'm down 15 pounds, not bad right??!!
However, right about now I start feeling the pull and temptation of what I call my "yellow" foods. Yellow means foods I need to avoid on a consistant basis but that can be allowed in rare circumstances.
However, when I'm not eating fully on track, the yellow foods are not "rare" but a daily occurrence (argh).
I went to book club last night. It's in a bar and everyone around me is getting mini burgers on delicious-looking buns and a basket of big honkin fries. Neither are for me.
I always get a large salad with house made sausage on top. However, I had just come from the gym having had a great, but tiring workout, and I. Was. Hungry!
BUT, I'm happy to report I just got my regular food and was done.
After book club, we went to a neighbors house who puts on a wine party every Tuesday (Wine at Nine). LOTS of tempting goodies there, and many I typically partake in during my visit. Oh, and a new goodie tonight? Mini crescent rolls with cream cheese/jalapenos/bacon chopped in. Y.U.M.
But thanks to HP, I was able to avoid those as well, phew!!
And because I was able to avoid my tempting foods, I was better able to focus on people and conversations and surroundings and pets and and and.
Today, I am grateful that I can close the food thoughts and desires out of my mind to focus on what is most important.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Scale jumping
Had I blogged yesterday, I would have come back saying I'd lost 14.5lbs!!
However, I got up this morning and it had jumped back up so I am currently down 12 lbs.
Today I wanted to write about how we handle scale fluxuations.
I know many many people in program hide their scales because the number on the scale determines how they will feel or take-on the day at hand.
AND it is not the only thing we watch over time.
So a suggestion. If you are going to use the scale, please remember it's a tool to watch trends. When the number controls you, please consider giving your scale away. Only use it monthly or quarterly. That way you won't see all the daily fluxuations. Let go and let God be the handler of your weight. It's in His hands.
For today, I'm very grateful I can see the importance of the numbers on the scale toward my ultimate goal of a healthy body weight, but that I am not letting the numbers control me.
However, I got up this morning and it had jumped back up so I am currently down 12 lbs.
Today I wanted to write about how we handle scale fluxuations.
I know many many people in program hide their scales because the number on the scale determines how they will feel or take-on the day at hand.
- If the scale number is down, they'll be giddy and prance around like they have all the answers and sometimes think they can go back to old unhealthy eating behaviors.
- If the scale number is up, they'll punish themselves by doing crazy things with food (either under or over eating), their mood will be crabby and/or sullen.
AND it is not the only thing we watch over time.
- We watch how our clothes fit
- We watch how our bodies are responding to the food (meaning a reduction in intestinal distress or heartburn)
- We watch our cravings.
So a suggestion. If you are going to use the scale, please remember it's a tool to watch trends. When the number controls you, please consider giving your scale away. Only use it monthly or quarterly. That way you won't see all the daily fluxuations. Let go and let God be the handler of your weight. It's in His hands.
For today, I'm very grateful I can see the importance of the numbers on the scale toward my ultimate goal of a healthy body weight, but that I am not letting the numbers control me.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
REJUVENATED
I am feeling so great!
I went to a retreat this weekend for Overeaters Anonymous, and let me tell you...It. Was. FANTASTIC!!
It was so positive and upbeat and oozing with recovery and hope and serenity!
I caught the bug and am back to working HARD on what I want.
It's a simple program, but at times it is not easy. At those times we just keep on keeping on,right?!
I finally tightened up my eating a week ago...and I've lost 10.5 lbs!! Yes, I'm aware that most of that is water weight....but just seeing the scale go down is WONDERFUL!
So I'm focusing on all the things that help me. I checked in with my sponsor, I am sending my food every night to my food sponsor, I am checking in with the Protein Power people, I am going to the gym, I am going to OA meetings, and I am working the plan!
And yes, I am aware of the early HIGH that I'm on right now, but what the heck, why not ride it, right???!!!
I went to a retreat this weekend for Overeaters Anonymous, and let me tell you...It. Was. FANTASTIC!!
It was so positive and upbeat and oozing with recovery and hope and serenity!
I caught the bug and am back to working HARD on what I want.
It's a simple program, but at times it is not easy. At those times we just keep on keeping on,right?!
I finally tightened up my eating a week ago...and I've lost 10.5 lbs!! Yes, I'm aware that most of that is water weight....but just seeing the scale go down is WONDERFUL!
So I'm focusing on all the things that help me. I checked in with my sponsor, I am sending my food every night to my food sponsor, I am checking in with the Protein Power people, I am going to the gym, I am going to OA meetings, and I am working the plan!
And yes, I am aware of the early HIGH that I'm on right now, but what the heck, why not ride it, right???!!!
Friday, August 24, 2012
State Fair food
I live 3 blocks from the State Fair and I LOVE the fair!
I love the energy, the activity, the people, the fireworks, the concerts - and all that is what I love while I'm OUTSIDE the fair.
When I go inside, it becomes a din of families, fun, and FOOD.
You'd think a SMART compulsive eater would stay AWAY from a place that appears to be so much about the food. But I disagree.
I think going to a place LIKE a State Fair is a great way to show other compulsive overeaters that NOTHING has to be all about food. If you cannot go to a place like the fair and enjoy all the OTHER things of the fair, than more work needs to be done in your program.
Yes, I eat at the fair. I usually go for one full day and therefore eat all three meals and a snack there, then we'll go another evening to listen to a concert and have a cocktail. I usually eat supper on that night.
It is possible to eat at the fair and not OVER eat.
What do I do?
1. I plan my food. It doesn't have to be set in unbreakable stone, but if I go in with no plan, I lose track of how much and how often I'm eating. I plan my breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then have a limited amount of options for my "snack". That way I feel I have choices, but it's not a free-for-all.
2. I plan my activities. There are SO MANY things to see and do at the fair. I look at the daily schedule and find 3 or 4 (or 8) things I want to do. When attending an activity, you usually have to get there early if you want a seat, so we sometimes end on trucking from one end to the other just to see the show we have planned. Which leads me to my next action plan.
3. I think of the fairgrounds as an exercise gym. I plan our activities on opposite sides of the fair. That way I'm not stuck in the slllloooowww moving herds that are just aimlessly wandering about wondering what to eat next because there is no plan. That doesn't mean I'm on the run the entire time. I love to wander around the corner where there are dog shows and "freebies" and huge 30 mic karaoke sessions. I wander around the barns in the opposite corner, but most of the time I end up sitting and waiting while my partner while she pets every single animal in the barns. That is usually my rest time and it's also the time I get in my people watching.
4. And finally, I always research the "new foods" ahead of time. Most of the time they are on my "do not eat" list. This year there is bacon ice cream , poutine (french fries), scones, chocolate p.butter fudge puppies, cannolies, and red velvet funnel cake - all things I do not eat. But, there are others I can eat like lamb on a stick, walleye (in a roll which I won't eat), Great Balls of fire (sausage on a stick), Hibiscus Iced Tea, and Ragin Ankles (which I assume to be like a rib??). Researching stops me from wanting to read every single menu as I walk by to see what I might be missing.
So there you have it - that is how I survive the State Fair. I've been abstinent for 14 years and have lived next to the state fair for 8.
I'm not suggesting a person new to OA or someone fighting to stay abstinent go to their State Fair. I'm just saying that if/when you are at the place where you are living the program or strong in your abstinence, it is FUN to go to these "food fests" while maintaining your abstinence and having a BLAST!
I love the energy, the activity, the people, the fireworks, the concerts - and all that is what I love while I'm OUTSIDE the fair.
When I go inside, it becomes a din of families, fun, and FOOD.
You'd think a SMART compulsive eater would stay AWAY from a place that appears to be so much about the food. But I disagree.
I think going to a place LIKE a State Fair is a great way to show other compulsive overeaters that NOTHING has to be all about food. If you cannot go to a place like the fair and enjoy all the OTHER things of the fair, than more work needs to be done in your program.
Yes, I eat at the fair. I usually go for one full day and therefore eat all three meals and a snack there, then we'll go another evening to listen to a concert and have a cocktail. I usually eat supper on that night.
It is possible to eat at the fair and not OVER eat.
What do I do?
1. I plan my food. It doesn't have to be set in unbreakable stone, but if I go in with no plan, I lose track of how much and how often I'm eating. I plan my breakfast, lunch, and dinner, then have a limited amount of options for my "snack". That way I feel I have choices, but it's not a free-for-all.
2. I plan my activities. There are SO MANY things to see and do at the fair. I look at the daily schedule and find 3 or 4 (or 8) things I want to do. When attending an activity, you usually have to get there early if you want a seat, so we sometimes end on trucking from one end to the other just to see the show we have planned. Which leads me to my next action plan.
3. I think of the fairgrounds as an exercise gym. I plan our activities on opposite sides of the fair. That way I'm not stuck in the slllloooowww moving herds that are just aimlessly wandering about wondering what to eat next because there is no plan. That doesn't mean I'm on the run the entire time. I love to wander around the corner where there are dog shows and "freebies" and huge 30 mic karaoke sessions. I wander around the barns in the opposite corner, but most of the time I end up sitting and waiting while my partner while she pets every single animal in the barns. That is usually my rest time and it's also the time I get in my people watching.
4. And finally, I always research the "new foods" ahead of time. Most of the time they are on my "do not eat" list. This year there is bacon ice cream , poutine (french fries), scones, chocolate p.butter fudge puppies, cannolies, and red velvet funnel cake - all things I do not eat. But, there are others I can eat like lamb on a stick, walleye (in a roll which I won't eat), Great Balls of fire (sausage on a stick), Hibiscus Iced Tea, and Ragin Ankles (which I assume to be like a rib??). Researching stops me from wanting to read every single menu as I walk by to see what I might be missing.
So there you have it - that is how I survive the State Fair. I've been abstinent for 14 years and have lived next to the state fair for 8.
I'm not suggesting a person new to OA or someone fighting to stay abstinent go to their State Fair. I'm just saying that if/when you are at the place where you are living the program or strong in your abstinence, it is FUN to go to these "food fests" while maintaining your abstinence and having a BLAST!
Monday, June 25, 2012
Birthday desserts
Today is my birthday...I am 41.
I belong to email lists of some of my favorite restaurants because you can get some good deals.
However, what is with the "free dessert" on your birthday? Why is it always dessert?
Why can't we get a free app, or a free drink? Why always some huge, carby, sweet, made-for-four dessert?
I have been offered FIVE so far (it's only 4pm), and have only accepted one. The only reason I took that one is it was little donut things, and I ate 2 and gave away the other 6. I turned down the big cookie brownie ice cream "that feeds four" treat, and the three other "any dessert on the menu" birthday treats offered via email.
But I absolutely remember the days when I would collect each and every one of those free desserts. I would go to a restaurant, and because it was my birthday I would splurge and get an app, a cocktail, a full meal, then eat and entire dessert. And I would do this every night for my birthday week! Thinking about it now, I can remember how bloated and miserable I felt - but it was MY day (week), so I had to make it special ("special" always meant something with food).
I am grateful that I do not have to live that way anymore, I am grateful I do not have to eat myself into dessert oblivion JUST because it's my birthday. I choose to celebrate the day without having to suffer a food hangover tomorrow.
I belong to email lists of some of my favorite restaurants because you can get some good deals.
However, what is with the "free dessert" on your birthday? Why is it always dessert?
Why can't we get a free app, or a free drink? Why always some huge, carby, sweet, made-for-four dessert?
I have been offered FIVE so far (it's only 4pm), and have only accepted one. The only reason I took that one is it was little donut things, and I ate 2 and gave away the other 6. I turned down the big cookie brownie ice cream "that feeds four" treat, and the three other "any dessert on the menu" birthday treats offered via email.
But I absolutely remember the days when I would collect each and every one of those free desserts. I would go to a restaurant, and because it was my birthday I would splurge and get an app, a cocktail, a full meal, then eat and entire dessert. And I would do this every night for my birthday week! Thinking about it now, I can remember how bloated and miserable I felt - but it was MY day (week), so I had to make it special ("special" always meant something with food).
I am grateful that I do not have to live that way anymore, I am grateful I do not have to eat myself into dessert oblivion JUST because it's my birthday. I choose to celebrate the day without having to suffer a food hangover tomorrow.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Pain to relieve pain??
I have a lot of physical issues. However, at this stage, I do NOT let it stop me, so please don't think this is a post of me just whining...
This month I'm dealing with a pain in my foot I've had for four months. It's in the arch and it's causing me to have leg cramps first thing in the morning. Horrible. So I went in and got some meds. While I was there I told the Dr that my hip pain was coming back (I've had hip pain for 20yrs and get a cortisone shot to keep it at bay) but I wasn't ready for a shot yet, then joked I'd probably be back in a week for a shot.
Stupid me.
I called exactly one week later and needed the shot...badly.
A cortisone shot in the hip is a very painful thing. VERY VERY painful. There is usually screaming or sobbing or swearing, or all three during the shot - I just cannot help it. BUT, as soon as the shot is done, there is usually relief. So I'll gladly take a short amount of pain to relieve longer term pain.
My question to God (if I were to have the opportunity to ask) is was I made with some "errors" to give me character, or are all these hip/back/pelvic/food/etc etc etc pains from being 320lbs? Or, is it just a lovely combination of both (yuck).
This month I'm dealing with a pain in my foot I've had for four months. It's in the arch and it's causing me to have leg cramps first thing in the morning. Horrible. So I went in and got some meds. While I was there I told the Dr that my hip pain was coming back (I've had hip pain for 20yrs and get a cortisone shot to keep it at bay) but I wasn't ready for a shot yet, then joked I'd probably be back in a week for a shot.
Stupid me.
I called exactly one week later and needed the shot...badly.
A cortisone shot in the hip is a very painful thing. VERY VERY painful. There is usually screaming or sobbing or swearing, or all three during the shot - I just cannot help it. BUT, as soon as the shot is done, there is usually relief. So I'll gladly take a short amount of pain to relieve longer term pain.
My question to God (if I were to have the opportunity to ask) is was I made with some "errors" to give me character, or are all these hip/back/pelvic/food/etc etc etc pains from being 320lbs? Or, is it just a lovely combination of both (yuck).
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Drama-free bubbles!
My old self - prior to working my OA program - would be GIDDY right now.
My work is FULL of drama right now.
I am part of a three person team. I am the lowest rung. And the two other people on my team are fighting. They are only communicating through email. They walk by and ignore each other. They just are acting very childish!
And both of them are trying to drag me into the fight "on their side". They come into my office and talk about the other one. They ask me to "pass on" information. They tell me it's my "job requirement" to share info.
But I have built a drama-free bubble around me. I ask them not to discuss the issue with me. I tell them I am uncomfortable with the conversation. I tell them to go talk to the other person because I do NOT want to be involved.
THAT is me working my program. That is my new self doing what needs to be done to keep myself serene, happy, and actually sleeping through the night. I am exhausted at night as my drama-free bubble takes a lot of energy to hold up, but have no regrets as I am not gossiping, I am not "creating" drama, and I am not involved in their dispute.
Do you stay out of the drama, or do you come with a big spoon and stir it up?
My work is FULL of drama right now.
I am part of a three person team. I am the lowest rung. And the two other people on my team are fighting. They are only communicating through email. They walk by and ignore each other. They just are acting very childish!
And both of them are trying to drag me into the fight "on their side". They come into my office and talk about the other one. They ask me to "pass on" information. They tell me it's my "job requirement" to share info.
But I have built a drama-free bubble around me. I ask them not to discuss the issue with me. I tell them I am uncomfortable with the conversation. I tell them to go talk to the other person because I do NOT want to be involved.
THAT is me working my program. That is my new self doing what needs to be done to keep myself serene, happy, and actually sleeping through the night. I am exhausted at night as my drama-free bubble takes a lot of energy to hold up, but have no regrets as I am not gossiping, I am not "creating" drama, and I am not involved in their dispute.
Do you stay out of the drama, or do you come with a big spoon and stir it up?
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